11.13.2010

Sarah Palin's Alaska


oh my lovelies out there in the blog-o-nets... for those of you who haven't had the pleasure of experiencing this little gem of what's to come, allow me to help. sarah palin and the down to earth wholesome folks over at TLC have decided to treat us to what could be the most spectacular show in the history of forever and the universe (which goes back, what, about 5000 years, right??). get ready to marvel at the beauty of alaska and fall in love with your country all over again as alaska's sexiest milf fires off a barrage of simple minded altruisms. if you feel like sacrificing a few unneeded brain cells (you've got billions, you can do it) head on over and experience the 30 second tv spot that is so brilliant it jettisons itself out of the world of commercial advertisement and into the stratosphere of fine art because of it's blatant and forthright self awareness. for those who don't wish to experience the spot in all its glory, or for those who simply want to cherish every last word so they can hang onto it reflect upon it forever and ever, i bring you, verbatim, the' unedited final script:

Narrator: Sarah, you ready?!
Sarah: Oh Gawsh!!
(inspiring montage)
Sarah: We are somewhere that, ughhhhh, people dream about!
(inspiring montage)
Sarah: Family comes first. It's just gotta be that way.
(inspiring montage)
Sarah: This is flippin' fun!!
(inspiring montage)
Sarah: How come we can't ever just be satisfied with tranquility?!
(inspiring montage)
Sarah: I'd rather be doin this than sittin' in some stuffy old political office!
(inspiring montage)
Sarah: I'd rather be out here bein' free
End scene. Allow tear of pride to escape and gently slide down cheek.

golly gee, sarah... why CAN'T we ever just be satisfied with tranquility?!?!

4 comments:

  1. May I reiterate, Anthony, that Sarah is your sister form another mister on the internet. Your website, is of course http://jesusrodedinosaurs.blogspot.com, whereas Sarah's Facebook page is http://jesusrodedinosaurs.com. I kid you not. Try it out.

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  2. I watched it, OK? And...I kind of liked it. I'm ashamed.

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  3. omg i forgot that she is my kindred spirit on fb!! i still loathe her tho... and i think the next time you watch it michael, you are going to need to take brent's fantastic suggestion

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