HELP

now here is a fun little story from work yesterday that started to make my imagination just go wild. someone was picking up prints from the printer and in doing so, discovered the page you see below sitting there waiting for him...

HOLY SHIT!!!!! WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE?!?!?! the mind SPINS at the utterly limitless number of questions and possible explanations behind this!!! first of all, why is the declaration for assistance so small on the page??? sure it's in all caps so a sense of urgency is inferred, but if one is to truly be in need of help, wouldn't you make your SOS as large as possible to maximize the potential for discovery of your plea??? assuming the printer itself hasn't become sentient and is simply out of toner or needs a paper jam cleared, it almost seems as if whoever wrote this didn't want his/her plea to be easily noticed... maybe by a possible captor who roams the halls near this printer?? but then why didn't the captive give a clue as to his/her current location??? i think ultimately, the most logical explanation is that someone was sitting at their desk when a bone crushing avalanche of shoes fell on them leaving only their right hand free and just in range of their keyboard so as to take one last stab at crying for help before taking their final breath...